Vigeland - Blessing (V)
This week’s post is written by Katie Dale from Bipolar Brave. Katie’s story is grounded in her faith and is a testament that having a spiritual core can be a valuable tool in recovery.
I thought coming off my medication to declare healing in Jesus' name would be the faith to move mountains, but it was merely walking off the cliff of one. Instead, the mountain to be moved was the wholeness that came back to my mind in the application of my medications. I just needed to surrender to the instruction and wisdom of the doctor's and medication God placed in my life to experience the gift of healing He gave me. God doesn't ask us to do the moving of the mountain. He does the heavy lifting.
Now I take my medication daily. I should do it with a prayer of thanksgiving, though I don't. But I am always reminded of God's goodness and power in swallowing two small pills each morning. It could have turned out worse. More challenging. More painful. Thank God He spared me from worse.
In my daily life, I desire to make sense of the pain and the tragedy of mental illness that reared its ugly head. All I've understood by having this disorder is that God works all things together for His glory and our good, and if that is what will come of my hardships with bipolar disorder, then I know my chronic illness is a blessing in disguise. Like Paul, I will boast all the more of my infirmities "... so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:10-11)
The curse of a disorder or any hardship we experience in life is not the end of our lives, but it's the beginning of the story to share with others how we overcame its grasp by the victorious power of God. Every day I'm reminded that the Creator in His sovereignty, has infused my life with redemptive purpose and calling. It is like the faith I have built my life's foundation upon has already shown me it's trustworthiness. God is my rock on whom I stand. He had me at my worst, and will ever have me no matter what depth of depression or height of mania I find myself in.
In Him I hope and place my trust every day. It's not easy, but it's not impossible either. I have to make more of a conscious effort when things aren't going my way and when situations become difficult, but you do get what you put into it. If God was not there for me, I would have given up long ago. But it's because He's proven His faithfulness to me, and believed in me and in what He could do through me when I trusted Him, that He is worth living for.
You can't take Jesus from me. Bipolar disorder you can have. And I know it won't always be my lot - one day in glory I will stand perfected like my King. But I won't give any doubts to whether God has abandoned me because He was the Way out of my mess. And I made a big one!
I hope for you, if you struggle with a mental illness, you can trust in God's timing for healing and His perfect plan for your peace. He is able to keep you. Just think of Him and what He suffered at Calvary to make a Way for us to see His power in our lives. He is worthy.
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