Time passed and
periodically I would check my Ancestry app. On almost the same day that Greta
first contacted me I opened up the app and a woman named Desaree appeared as a
second cousin match. I decided to send her a message to which she responded the
same day. Much like Greta a year prior, she said that she had been constructing
her family tree to learn more about her father and that side of her family.
It was then
that the circle was closed. Desaree asked certain specifics about my birth
father from the information that I had from the birth records I had received
from Child and Family Services, the agency that held my closed adoption papers.
Based on this information and that which she had on her father’s family, she
was able to tell me who my birth father was. This man, John, lived in the
Syracuse area and his profile matched that of the person identified in my birth
records. She shared her AncestryDNA family tree that allowed me to not only see
photos of John, but also other members of my birth family. It felt like
something out of the twilight zone and as I mentioned previously, was all quite
surreal. And on top of that, I actually did little, if any, research of my own.
The detective work was all performed by others.
On Saturday
July, 21, Suzy and I took a road trip to visit Charlotte at her home 45 minutes
north of Syracuse. When we arrived, like the time we first met, Charlotte and I
gave each other a great big hug. We all spent the next several hours talking (but
mostly me and Charlotte) and we had a wonderful lunch that she had prepared
using primarily vegetables and potatoes from her garden. It was a meal made
with the best ingredient: Love.
Later we took a
brief drive to look at Charlotte’s plot of land where she grows a variety of
veggies. It’s located on her friend’s property where he has cows and pigs. It
was pretty cool and definitely not something that Suzy or I, the city dwellers
we are, were accustomed to. But it was so refreshing.
Upon leaving,
Charlotte and I hugged, once again like we didn’t want to let go. It was a
special moment.
“I love you,”
she said.
“I love you
too,” I replied.
On our car ride
home, Suzy commented that Charlotte and I could be siblings because of the ways
we were similar, not just in appearance but in affect and personality.
Two days later
Charlotte sent me a Facebook message saying that she had uploaded her raw
Ancestry data to GedMatch, a website for DNA nerds to determine family
connections. I went on the site and upon review, it showed that Charlotte and I
have 1846.3 shared CentoMorgans (cm’s - DNA). This is quite a high number.
Charlotte
notified me that she had been in touch with a family “search angel” who
indicated that we could be half-siblings.
It was then
that I happened to go to the Facebook DNA Detectives closed group that
Charlotte and I belong too. I came across a post that was from a woman who
asked about the possibility of being a half-sibling based on the high number of
cm’s she shares with someone who she thought was a cousin. A person replied
with a chart that showed the number of cm’s and how they determine
relationships. As it turned out, roughly between 1300-2100 indicated either
grandparent/grandchild, uncle-aunt/niece-nephew, double cousin (where two siblings
marry two siblings from another family and have children, who would be double
cousins) and finally half-siblings. Ruling out the first three options then I
came to the clear conclusion that Charlotte and I are half-siblings.
We spoke
sharing our joy of learning this wonderful information. This is the photo that
was taken during our visit together in July.
I ended up
speaking to Desaree again and she provided me with more information about my
father’s family. They were quite esteemed, including a first African-American
mayor of a New England city as well as other men in the family who were
represented in the Smithsonian Museum.
Charlotte had
also connected with another cousin, Alan who lives in the Albany area, whose
mother knew much about our father’s life. He and I have spoken on a couple of
occasions and he even said that I resembled the men in the family.
And that brings
me back to today. When I consider my life and the many experiences I have had
that have led me to where I am, I cannot help but believe in a Power greater
than myself. I cannot fully explain the course of events that have transpired
in my lifetime. The sheer number of people who have served as “guides” in the
course of my life have demonstrated to me that God is real. Like I said
previously, you can’t make this stuff up and it can’t be explained.
So, you can
believe me, or not. If it were you, what would you say? Would you deny the
presence of a Higher Power? Would you say that this is all made up, or just
coincidence or chance? If you’ve read any of my other posts from the various
blogs I write I think you would see a theme and that is believe, have faith, work without ceasing and never give up. And
that there is a guiding force available to all of us, not just me.
God is simply
the name I choose to call something that is infinitely powerful. And that’s my
two cents, for what it’s worth.
Be well!